Lies He Told, The Truth He Knew
by MusingM
Summary: I was really disappointed with the way things ended for Grace & James. Especially for James. I started this immediately after the finale, but left it unfinished until today. James tells himself he's happy the choice he made to stay. James-centric. Don't own a thing. Just playing in this 'verse.


He tells himself he's happy with his choice. Tani is a good woman. He wanted to live on a beach in Costa Rica and San Martine is as good a place as any.

The destruction of the Colorado means the crew can finally go home. No one rejoices because their captain is dead. Their friends are dead. They are still traitors.

He tells himself he's happy even as he watches Grace. He's heard the stories of her heroism on the boat. How she fought off Anders and his men, saved the COB and survived. He's proud and a bit ashamed because he said he'd be there for her and he wasn't.

He tells himself he's happy with his choice as news comes across the wire that the President of the United States is dead. Killed by an assassin. Killed by the very woman who'd helped to expose the administration's dirty deeds.

Marcus Chapman's death was the first domino to fall. The death of the President signals the end of a corrupt administration. Even as the nation "mourns" the death of a beloved President, the truth is exposed. Those once labeled enemies of the State are now being hailed as heroes.

He tells himself he's happy even as he watches Grace board the boat. They say goodbye. Awkwardly. She's all brass and steel, but he sees her. Really sees her. She scared of what she will find when she returns home. There's been no news of her father. He wants to pull her into his arms, hold her tight, tell her it will be alright, but he'd be lying to her. So he extends his hand. Wishes her good luck.

He watches the boats until they are no longer visible. Tani is waiting for him as he returns to the bar. She smiles, happy to have the Navy gone, hoping life will return to normal. He smiles too because this is what he wanted. He didn't want to be a killer anymore. He just wanted to be. So he smiles warmly at Tani. Kisses her, loves her because this is what he wanted: freedom, peace, happiness.

He tells himself he's happy even as the months go by and he isn't happy. Tani isn't happy. They are together, but apart. He should be happy, but this isn't his life. He realizes that now. He was disillusioned after Pakistan. Rightfully so. But here's the thing he won't admit to anyone. Grace, Chapman, Sam, the crew…they healed him. They made him care again. Made him believe in the Navy again. Because they were willing to lay down their lives against the world for him, for his team, without knowing the truth. They were fighting for what was right and their sacrifice saved their nation. Maybe even the world.

When it ends with Tani, there's no drama. There are no tears. She goes to see her father for a few days. He's not there when she returns. His departure from her life is less chaotic than his introduction into it. It seems appropriate. Full circle.

He tells himself he's happy, and he is. His mind is clear for the first time in five months. The doubts are gone. The demons are silent.

It takes two more weeks to reach the States. He's a man without a country, having been declared MIA by the Seals. He could have become anyone he wanted. He had enough money hidden to buy a new identity. But he's James King, Navy Seal. He is, who he is, for better or worse.

It's worse as the US Navy doesn't really take well to his self-imposed sabbatical. He's detained as soon as he reports to base. There are debriefings and a confidentiality agreement to be signed. He's assigned to a new Seal team, which will be departing for parts unknown in eight weeks.

He tells himself he's happy, even as he's put through his paces. Again. He's okay with that because he's home.

Sam contacts him. Calls him an asshole, even as he's smiling and hugging him. They have dinner with Christine, and end the night, drinking on their patio until the early hours of the morning. He crashes on Sam's couch and wakes to Christine's amused smile. She hands him a cup of coffee and a slip of paper. When he asks what's this, she smiles knowingly and tells him to hurry up, his breakfast was getting cold.

The three hour drive to Grace's house gives him time to think, to prepare for what he would say, what he would do when he saw her. All that is quickly forgotten when he's at her door and she's standing before him. It takes him a minute to realize what he's seeing, and a few more minutes to put everything together.

He tells himself he's happy and this time, he really is. Grace is angry. She's in his face and reminding him of his promise to be there for her, no matter what and he wasn't. And she was pregnant with his kid and doing all of this on her own, and how dare he come here, thinking she was going to let him back into her life.

He tells himself he's happy and he is because Grace is in his arms and they are having a baby. They still need to talk and figure out where to go from here. But he knows he's where he belongs. He doesn't have all the answers and nothing is ever simple with them, but they are together. They'll figure it out.

He doesn't have to tell himself he's happy. He just is.


End file.
